1: The Discovery of What It Means

New year, new me, as they say. But what if there is no such thing? Any future version of me is an iteration of the experiences, perceptions, and beliefs that shape history. If I aspire to grow and learn and connect, then I must look backward, inward, to recognize the circumstances that led me here. Likely, the endeavor won’t be easy, but it is what I need.

This isn’t an original thought. In fact, the above is a rudimentary distillation of the wisdom shared by James Baldwin in The Discovery of What It Means To Be an American, found in a copy of his Collected Essays. Which I picked up hoping, albeit vaguely, to discover new insight in the raw, unsettled hours of January 1st, 2021.

His words:

“I wanted to find out in what way the specialness of my experience could be made to connect me with other people instead of dividing me from them.”

“The perpetual dealing with people very different from myself caused a shattering in me of preconceptions I scarcely knew I held.”

“This reassessment, which can be very painful, is also very valuable.”

“He may leave the group that produced him — he may be forced to — but nothing will efface his origins, the marks of which he carries with him everywhere.”

“The time has come, God knows, for us to examine ourselves, but we can only do this if we are willing to free ourselves of the myth of America and try to find out what is really happening here.”

And a resolution was born, to read and process the words of people with experiences, perceptions, and beliefs different from those that shaped me, then share that reckoning. Although this process will likely be uncomfortable, I feel that this may be the best way for me to grow as a human. If you care to join me — excellent. If not — also excellent. Cheers, friends.